Guacamole

2 Avocados, mashed
1 cup Chunky Salsa
1 tsp. Lemon Juice
Sea Salt

Add all ingredients to a bowl. Use the salt to taste and to prevent browning. Serve with tacos, chili, or as a dip.

This is a quick cheater way to do it. This is not the best you'll ever eat but will do in a pinch, and is far superior to those horrible frozen varieties that abuse themselves of people's palates.

Homemade Mayonnaise

This recipe was featured in the July 1978 issue of Texas Monthly. Homemade Mayonnaise Mastered at Ten. Homemade versions of "prepared" foods are a kid's kitchen miracle.

1 egg
2 cups salad oil
1 teaspoon sugar
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon dry mustard
juice of 1/2 lemon


Using a mixer, whip a whole egg until frothy, then add, a drop at a time, 1 cup of salad oil. With the mixer still running, add 1 teaspoon each sugar, salt, dry mustard, and the lemon juice. Now add, a drop at a time, the other cup of salad oil. If you have done this patiently, you will have some of the best mayonnaise you ever put in your mouth. If you wish, add other herbs and spices to make exotic salad dressings. Try dill, paprika, or whatever strikes your fancy, but taste as you add until it suits you. Makes 1 pint.

Piña Colada Dip

Roughly pronounced "Peen-yah Coh-lah-dah" for all my non Spanish or Tex-Mex speaking readers. This is non-alcoholic I promise. I can also pretty much guarantee that you won't have to force anyone to eat it, and that you won't have any dip left over.

8oz crushed Pineapple, undrained
3/4 ox pkg Instant Coconut Cream Pudding
3/4 cup Milk
1/2 cup Sour Cream

Beat all ingredients together. Let sit overnight in refrigerator. Serve with sliced fruit (or veggies).